Q. At a recent event a close friend of mine said something deeply hurtful about my wife’s looks to a mutual friend. This took place in front of me. Instead of hitting him I retreated and have been in a seething funk ever since. I can’t tell my wife because his words would hit her very hard, not least because she has acted as a deeply kind and above all loyal confidante to him during a turbulent decade in his own love life. How can I let the cad know how I feel without undermining or disabusing my beloved wife?
Name and address withheld
A. This kind of behaviour smacks of classic intolerance to alcohol although, if out of character, it could equally suggest a pathology in the cerebellum. Take your close friend aside and, in a spirit not of anger but of concern, gently enquire whether he has any worries he would like to confide in you.
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