Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 28 May 2015

Plus: Dealing with intrusive Americans; a snoring guest’s dilemma; teaching with a nicotine addiction

issue 30 May 2015

Q. I felt uncomfortable during a dinner for 20 in a private house. The young man on my left had failed to turn to the woman on his left when it was time to do so and instead stared vaguely down the table with his back slightly turned to her. She looked devastated. I wonder what I could have said, without sounding nanny-like, to remind this youth of his manners and his special duty, as one of those staying in the house, to make those locals who had been invited in feel particularly welcome. I know the man’s parents vaguely and they know how to behave, but I had never seen him in this context before.
— Name and address withheld

A. You might have broken his narcissistic spell by whispering, ‘Is it true that the woman on your left is the second richest person in Europe?’ Such a thought would electrify most slackers.

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