Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 27 March 2010

Your problems solved

issue 27 March 2010

Q. I am at a loss as to how to deal with a kind offer I’ve had from an artist to paint my portrait for free. Even though the artist kindly offers to arrange sittings around my schedule and work pro bono, etc, I am also pathologically impatient and the idea of ‘sitting’ at all, let alone in the same position for hours, fills me with panic and gloom. On the other hand, I am also quite vain and self-publicising and am not immune to the idea of being gifted a flattering rendition in oils of my fast-fading charms. How to respond?

R.J., London WC1

A. Why not take your cue from ‘David’, the video-portrait made of David Beckham by Sam Taylor-Wood for the National Portrait Gallery? Fit the artist into your schedule by allowing her into your bedroom. In this way you can multi-task by sleeping while simultaneously achieving your goal.

Q.

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