Q. Unlike your correspondent J.G. of Bath, I received a prompt and fulsome letter from my 15-year-old godson thanking me for the money I had sent him at Christmas. Unfortunately, this year I had sent no gifts of any kind to any of my godchildren. I did sheepishly admit this to his mother, but she refused to believe me. What should I do to rectify this?
A.R., East Sussex
A. The boy may have mixed you up with another godparent in a case of embarrass de richesse. You should resolve the matter by sending him some cash anyway. Remind him as you do so that there may well be another godparent to whom he owes a letter — he having possibly thanked you in error instead of the genuine beneficiary. Bear in mind that the child may have been trying to prompt you to deliver your usual goods, in which case you must admire his cunning.
Q. I can sympathise with your correspondent complaining about his ill-mannered godson but I have experienced far worse treatment from one of my own godchildren, now in his thirties. We had always got on well and used to have lunch regularly when he was in his teens. However, he then started not thanking me for presents, usually cash, and when I wrote him a letter saying I was offended by this — it had then happened at least two or three times — I got no reply. A few years later I made one more effort and invited him to a communal garden party as he was staying across the road. Again, I got no answer whatsoever. Last September he got married and I sent him a £90-odd wedding present. (I am an old friend of his mother and thought it would be petty not to send anything.)
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