Q. New people have moved into our terraced street and made themselves very popular. Prior to their arrival everyone kept themselves to themselves in the typical London manner, but now there is a lot of what my husband calls ‘Coronation Street activity’ led by this very social, very community-minded couple. They are definitely a force for good, but my husband bitterly resents the threat to his privacy when one of them suddenly knocks on our front door out of the blue with something like Neighbourhood Watch news. No one other than the postman has knocked on our door (without ringing first or being invited) for 20 years until these new people came. Although the other neighbours clearly love it, we do not. We find it intrusive. How can I, without seeming stuck-up, tactfully ask them to stop suddenly knocking — but to ring us up if they have some news or other neighbourhood business to discuss?
J.B., London SW11
A. Next time one of them knocks, go to the door and peep around it whispering mysteriously, ‘Can I telephone you in 20 minutes?’ In 20 minutes ring up and apologise for the delay, confiding that you and your husband have begun to do meditation, adding ‘But I’m totally free now. Do say why you called.’ Exchange some cordial words as you listen, then say that, by the way, your teacher has told you it is important not to have your concentration broken during meditation. In future could they possibly ring your landline, rather than coming round? In the event that you are meditating the call can then be picked up by the answerphone and you can ring them back when you are finished. In this way you will feel less phobic about these neighbours because you will have guaranteed breathing space before having to deal with them.
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