Q. Last year we were invited by dear friends to country house opera, which was wonderful except that we discovered afterwards that we were expected to pay for our tickets — over £100 each! I gather this is fairly normal practice. But we dread being re-invited this year. How can I decline without having to admit that the price is too high?
Figaro, Home Counties
A. Most people are now happily admitting that they can’t afford things. We are all in this together. The trouble is that such an admission may result in the host insisting on paying for one. To pre-empt this, you should decline such invitations immediately. There is no need to elaborate on why. If bullied for an answer as to what you are doing instead, simply bulge your eyes mysteriously and say, ‘Can I tell you after it’s happened?’ If pressed later you can say, ‘Oh dear yes, something I hoped would happen didn’t come off. Too boring to talk about.’
Q. I recently received two medals for campaign service over 40 years ago. Is it acceptable to wear the miniatures on every occasion that black tie is stipulated on the invitation, having regard to the fact that we are no longer a warrior race and triumphalism was outlawed in the Blair years?
R.P., Stamford
Q. A great Scottish gentleman has been laid to rest. He was the Duke of Hamilton. He hated being a duke. He wanted to be one of us and succeeded. I am the second son of a tailor. We were close friends on the ground and brother pilots. His burial was private. In July there will be a public affair. I shall wear my RAF VR tie instead of a black tie, my first time ever.
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