Your problems solved
Q. I was recently at my local library with my two-year-old daughter. A woman sat next to me with a daughter of about the same age. In the spirit of polite conversation she asked me what my daughter
was called. When I told her, she looked absolutely horrified and exclaimed loudly that it was her name and how she had always hated it and had been mocked at school because of it. Mary, we opted
for a very traditional name (clearly in common usage) that we both love. I thought this woman’s comments extremely rude. There are many women with the same name as my daughter. If something
similar should happen again, how should I respond?
— C.H., London
A. You do not mention the effect of this woman’s tactlessness on your little daughter. That was the most important thing. Should it happen again you can protect your daughter by laughing pleasantly and saying, ‘Oh, you are funny. How could you not love your own name when everyone else in the world loves it so much?’ etc. By roaring with laughter at potentially harmful assertions, you will more easily defuse them.
Q. I love my handsome and clever husband very much but there is a self-discipline problem. Last time he went to the dentist he was told his teeth were brilliant but he needed to engage with a very time-consuming cleaning routine to pre-empt the likely onset of the receding-gum look which is so ageing. Mary, he is vain and would be devastated to lose his looks but he cannot imagine anything going wrong with his teeth and each night he says he is too tired to give them anything but the most cursory going-over before bed.
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