Q. My wife and I have been married for 50 years. The marriage is basically sound but she has recently developed a new maddening habit when we entertain. She waits until I am in the middle of an anecdote or story and then starts proffering plates of vegetables or more wine — this when everyone has already got well-filled glasses and everything on their plate they could possibly want. And of course they then have to say ‘No thank you’. These actions seem timed to sabotage my performances. When I take it up with her she always insists she is just being polite to our guests.
— Name and address withheld
A. This is a prime example of passive aggression. Your wife may be nursing a secret grudge against you. Why not let her take centre stage before you begin your first anecdote? Smile pleasantly as you invite her to regale the table with a story or nugget of gossip of her own.
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