Q. I receive a huge number of invitations. This is no reflection of my status i.e. I am not powerful or rich or anything, I just know hundreds of people and in this I am probably quite typical of anyone else of my age (25). My problem is knowing how to reply when asked to something six months ahead. You cannot say you are already busy and so you are forced, out of politeness, to accept. Often, I find, when the time comes round, that I would rather be doing something else.
—D.A., Crouch End, London
A. Why not take a tip from another reader, M.G., also aged 25? Says M.G., ‘When I am invited months ahead I always ask myself: if it were tomorrow, would I want to accept? If the answer is yes I say yes, and if no I say no. I find this formula works exceptionally well as a general decision-making tool.’
Q. Recently I discovered that the New York Public Library has a portrait of my great grandfather in its collection. Although I grew up with my father’s tales of his grandfather’s exploits, bon mots and political career (one of his posts was as High Sheriff of his Central European county), I wasn’t aware that he was considered a person of interest by any institution in the English-speaking world until now. The library’s gift shop offers patrons reproductions of images from the collection in various formats, including a boxed set of notecards. I can’t decide whether I should order a set for writing thank you notes: one side says this would be a fine tribute to the grand old man (as well as financial support for the library) the other says that showing off one’s ancestors in this way is ostentatious.
Comments
Join the debate for just £1 a month
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for £3.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just £1 a monthAlready a subscriber? Log in