Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 25 January 2018

Also: I pretended to have a brilliant career and now I’ve got to give a career talk...

issue 27 January 2018

Q. Several friends have reached an age and wealth that means they take unreasonably long holidays or even entire gap years. I enjoy being in regular touch with them when they are at home and am sad they will be away for so long. But should one stay in touch? And how, without the intrusive help of Skype and webcams? Some of my acquaintances post Instagram pictures (one or two too often). Is mutual Instagram following a satisfactory way ahead?

— B.F., Barnham, West Sussex

A. You should resist the urge to maintain your usual levels of dialogue. People go away for many reasons and sun-seeking is only one of them; they may also seek mental liberty. To achieve a quasi-meditative state and a perspective on their normal personas, they need to put emotional ties from home on hold.

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