Q. My wife is known to run a very well-organised house. As a consequence, weekend guests often arrive without the right kit, assuming they can go and raid our boot room and borrow something belonging to one of our (seven) children rather than weighing themselves down with heavy boots and coats et cetera for their journey. My wife does not mind them doing this, but I do — it is the presumption that I mind. What do you suggest, Mary?
— Name and address withheld
A. Retrain the miscreants by mislaying the key to the boot room and instead offering them ‘pop-up’ raincoats fashioned from heavy duty garden refuse sacks or bin bags with holes scissored out for the head and arms. Let them undergo the indignity at least once before you find the key again. In this way a more desirable attitude of gratitude will be seen to emerge.
Q. I recently attended Mass in Austria and felt uncomfortable not being able to speak German. I felt self-conscious not taking part since it would not be clear to others that I was English. Should I have moved my lips as though I was saying something?
— R.O., Sittingbourne, Kent
A. You should have just said whatever you would normally be saying at that point of the Order of Service, but said it in English and in a low voice.
Q. I have a good and genuine friend whose companionship I value. He is great fun and could definitely be relied on were my wife or I to need support in a crisis. He does, however, seem to think it is perfectly normal that he has become enslaved by his mobile phone.
Comments
Join the debate for just £1 a month
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for £3.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just £1 a monthAlready a subscriber? Log in