Dear Mary | 25 April 2019

Q. Like many of his profession, Manolo, my most-proficient masseur, has the gift of the gab and maintains a garrulous monologue throughout my weekly session. This would be all right if he did not constantly break off from his pummelling to make a point — or just spout. Often (I’ve checked with his clock) his pauses to elaborate on an anonymous patient’s therapy can add up to 15 minutes of my 45-minute session, which is disconcerting, as massage is costly. How can I halt Manolo’s volubility without using words which might offend or affect the efficacy of his work? (Pretending to meditate is out of the question as my collaboration is needed: ‘Turn on to your back,’ etc.)
— T. D., Majorca

A. Next time tell Manolo: ‘I want you to promise to be strict with me today and don’t let me talk during our session. I love to chat, as you know, but one of my best friends has treatments each week, and he has just told me that I would get more health benefits from a quiet massage.