Dear Mary… | 24 June 2006

Q. One of my husband’s best friends is married to someone who, we know from past experience, is too demanding and controlling to be good company at a house party.  The couple often go their separate ways on holiday and might well not object if he were to come without her to our house in France — but it seems a bit crude to invite him to come on his own. Can you suggest a tactful way in which we can get him alone? 
Name and address withheld

A. Go through the list of fellow guests you might also invite. Choose someone Mr P has never met — let’s call him Harry. Ring up the Ps to say you are longing to introduce them to Harry, so can they go through their diaries to see which week they are both free? You will get Harry to do the same. Once you have established which weeks Mrs P is definitely unavailable, book Harry in for one of them.