Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary… | 24 February 2007

Etiquette advice from The Spectator's Miss Manners

issue 24 February 2007

Q. I am frequently invited to book launches. I always make a point of buying a copy of the book in question and leave the party with every enthusiastic intention of reading it. Yet these books tend to lie about on my coffee table unread, making me feel slightly guilty and embarrassed. I wonder whether, in these circumstances, should I really go to these parties at all?
A.B., London W8

A. Take steps to discipline yourself in the following way: each time you accept an invitation to a book launch make sure you keep the following day completely clear. Therefore if someone asks you to lunch on Wednesday, say, ‘Sorry, I’m going to a book launch on Tuesday night, so I need to keep eight hours free on the Wednesday to actually read the book.’ Set the time aside as though you are back at school — even sit at a desk if necessary or go to the library. Although this approach will annoy your friends they will also admire and envy your resolve — to say nothing of your achievement.


Q. I sometimes have to take part in international conference calls. As a woman I am able to multi-task and can be getting on with quite a lot of things at my end of the telephone while still concentrating on what is being said at the meeting on the other side of the globe. I can text people back on my ‘set to silent’ mobile, but occasionally I am frustrated to see landline numbers flashing repeatedly up on the screen because it is impossible to call such people back. The same thing happens during school plays. What do other people do about this, Mary?
E.A., Basingstoke

A. You can send ‘voice texts’ to such people.

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