Q. How can I tactfully request that well-meaning old friends stop toasting my (new) husband’s hospitality? It seems ungrateful but, during a week’s stay at our new house in France, these much loved friends did it at least once a day, to the point that the other members of the house-party became irritated. I admit they were slightly out of their depth socially and had obviously read some sort of misinformation that this behaviour was required. My husband tells me he likes them but that I shouldn’t ask them again unless they stop the toasting. I hesitate to tell them this as I know they are insecure enough to take umbrage and may refuse to come again if they fear they may make other gaffes.
— J d L., Bordeaux
A. Why not invent a local superstition about toasting? Casually drawl that though your husband adored their vocal appreciation, he has since been mortified to discover, from a member of his staff, that toasting is considered really bad form in that neck of the woods.
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