Q. May I pass on a tip to readers? I always used to feel a bit embarrassed if, when leaving a drinks party at about 9 p.m., people stopped me to ask where I was going. Usually I am going back to a dreary supper on my own but it seems so dull to say so. Moreover, admitting it often leaves one open to being corralled into an expensive and protracted restaurant experience. I have now found that the Daily Telegraph Court & Social pages are a useful source of inspiration for these occasions. Before going out I simply check the Today’s Birthdays column. If caught short, I claim that I am on my way to a dinner to celebrate the birthday of some obscure lord-lieutenant or admiral whose name I have seen listed in that morning’s paper.
P.T., London SW3
A. That is all very well but your life will seem even more dull if you are found out. Far better to say something less specific such as, ‘I’m afraid I am doing something incredibly dreary; too dreary to talk about.’ Your interlocutors will assume you are being discreet about dining with a celebrity and will not press you further.
Q. I was taken to lunch recently by a well-heeled friend at his club, White’s. You may imagine my surprise when, at the end of a delicious meal, my friend proceeded to rake his teeth with his forefinger, presumably to dislodge any fragments of meat which may have been trapped there. I would like to return my friend’s hospitality by inviting him to my own (far less grand) club, but how can I ensure that this process of manual excavation does not re-occur? Or am I being unutterably bourgeois?
T.
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