Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 21 September 2017

Plus: when friends expect you to pay for them in expensive restaurants; proud to have rats

issue 23 September 2017

Q. Last year my husband and I stayed with a much-loved, but slightly airy-fairy friend in her house in Tuscany. Flights, tips, presents, a hire car and house-sitters were already costing us rather a lot, but she insisted we went out to (quite expensive) local restaurants for lunch four days out of five to experience the regional cuisine. She let my husband pay each time.

I felt this was overdoing it, especially as we had to pay for her, her husband and her three adult children, and they have had plenty of hospitality when staying with us in England. Mary, can you rule? Moreover how can we avoid it happening again when we join them later this year?
— Name and address withheld.

A. Your friends should have drawn the line at two lunches paid for by your husband.

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