Dear Mary | 21 November 2009

Q. I have a son at day school in London. Every couple of weeks or so, one or other of his friends will invite him to their 18th birthday party. Because we have met many of the parents over the years, my husband and I are often invited too. While we are more than happy to drop our son off and stay for an hour at one of these parties for a bit of bonding in his milieu, we always make it clear that we cannot stay for longer. The problem is that the host parents — who are, of course, desperate for adult company — often put great pressure on us to stay. Not only does our son not want us cramping his style for the whole evening, but we really cannot give up the time. We are often half-tempted to stay but know we will regret it the next day.