Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary… | 21 April 2007

Etiquette advice from The Spectator's Miss Manners

issue 21 April 2007

Q. A young man from Oz, the son of a friend of my wife, has been staying for several weeks. He walks into the house and helps himself to a beer or a banana or a toasted cheese sandwich. This is what they do in American soaps, opening the fridge without even saying hello, but it is slightly at odds with the upbringing of our children who are encouraged to ask before helping themselves. My wife believes this shows that he feels at home and that, if I disapprove, I should ask him next time to bring back some beer, bananas, bread or cheese. I prefer a different approach, making sure that we have no beer, bananas, bread or cheese in the house, so that he’ll learn from the consequences of his actions. Which is the correct response?
Name and address withheld

A.

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