Q. When we lived in the country we had a close friend virtually next door. We always dropped in and out of each other’s houses without ringing first; one is always ‘ready’ for visitors in the country in a way one is not in London. The problem is that this man, who we absolutely adore, now drops in on us in London, still without ringing first. I don’t like to put pressure on him but even a few moments’ notice would be good. How should I tackle this, Mary?
— A.L., London NW3
A. Next time you let him in cry ‘Thank goodness it’s you! We’ve got a terrible problem with people knocking and asking for money.’ When he leaves, say, ‘Do ring next time when you are approaching the house, so I know it’s you and I’ll be sure to open the door.’
Q. I have received an email from a friend who has a tendency to get upset and write things she does not mean. This was a venomous outburst. She will probably regret having sent it, so I have not replied. One can pretend that a letter got lost in the post but emails are infuriatingly reliable. Is there any way I can pretend that I have not read it?
— Name and address withheld
A. You can set up a Gmail account free and run it alongside your normal email account. Send the woman an email announcing that you are sorry you have been out of touch but you have had problems with your email. Ask her to note your new email address. Then include some friendly words which will reassure her that you never received her outburst.
Q. I am a proper smoker but a number of my friends are social smokers.
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