Q. Is there a tactful way to invite certain favourite old friends to dinner but without their partners? I have no wish to exclude or be cruel to anyone, but I know from personal experience that sometimes people are only too happy to go out separately. My own husband, for example, is delighted to be excused a drunken dinner if he has already booked in to play bridge somewhere else. Yet I always feel I must invite both members of a couple to avoid hurting feelings, and assume that most people feel they should both accept an invitation for the same reason.
A.E., Pewsey, Wilts
A. Why not pretend to be slightly stupider than your friends give you credit for and throw a series of astrological theme parties? Let us say your favourite old friend is a Capricorn. As long as his wife’s birthday does not also fall between 21 December and 21 January, then you can safely ring up, giggling childishly, to invite him to a Capricorns-only dinner party. You can repeat this formula as often as is necessary, saying you are working your way through the zodiac so that you can observe whether there are any personal characteristics that the various star signs have in common. Most people enjoy the novelty of dining without their usual partner.
Q. I sometimes do the school run, collecting our five-year-old son and that of a neighbour, the latter being a rather bossy, precocious child. Before Christmas he sang ‘Jingle Bells, Stephen Smells’, from the back seat, gleefully, much to the delight of my son who is his junior by eight months. I, of course, am Stephen. I found myself at a total loss as to how to counter this from the driving seat, torn as I was between seeing the funny side and being annoyed at his complete lack of respect or indeed fear of me.
Comments
Join the debate for just £1 a month
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for £3.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just £1 a monthAlready a subscriber? Log in