Q. How can I, before accepting an invitation to dinner, find out if the person issuing it has a sweep? The question seems so snobbish but the truth is that unless they have one, my husband and I can’t go. To explain: our normal car was in an accident and will take weeks to repair. In the meantime we can only drive the Maserati my husband bought during his midlife crisis. Having got it out of the garage we found the reverse gear was broken, and a replacement cannot be fitted for months. Now you will see, Mary, that we are not being pretentious. Since we can only drive forwards, we can only visit people with a sweep, which would allow us to drive in and then out again without having to reverse. When a new acquaintance rang to invite us to lunch the other day I sensed her bristle when I asked if she had a sweep before accepting. I assumed she would see the funny side but she didn’t. How can I avoid misunderstandings should this happen again?
— A.E., Pewsey, Wilts
A. This is a storm in a teacup, although it is evident that the words ‘Maserati’ and ‘sweep’ in the same sentence could intimidate. You should tell people you will ring them back when you have found your diary. Then use Google Earth to see whether they have a sweep before replying.
Q. I am a writer. At my club it is considered bad form to bring out pen and paper and write things down. Anything that looks like one is doing business is frowned upon. Yet it is while in conversation in a convivial atmosphere that I often have the best ideas. I often wake up the next day feeling frustrated because, for want of being able to jot down a few words to jog my memory, my brilliant idea has gone. What do you suggest, Mary?
— O.L., London sw1
A. The travel writer Colin Thubron has perfected the technique of writing notes on a pad while keeping his hand in his pocket. You might also carry a crossword puzzle on you. Bring it out, pretending you have solved a clue, and doggedly write the few words down into adjoining boxes.
Q. I find the cost of babysitting in London horrendous. It is £9 per hour in my neck of the woods. On top of this there is £15 in taxi money just to get the babysitter home. My children are nine and 11 and well behaved so really the babysitter is being paid just to watch television with them. My wife and I both have to socialise a lot as part of our work. How can we get round this crippling weekly bill, Mary?
— L.P., London W8
A. Why not advertise for a cleaner who is prepared to work at night? Be brazen about the fact that you are trying to kill two birds with one stone. Some cleaners will be quite happy to have the company of pleasant children while they work, and may even prefer it to slaving alone in the empty houses where they normally pass their days.
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