Q. The convention with regard to tipping in restaurants is that one leaves 10 per cent of the bill and hopes it will go to the staff. The bill, however, includes both hidden VAT on the cost of the meal and a mark-up of 250 per cent or more on the wine. The first is a government tax, and the other has nothing to do with the staff, so I do not think I should pay 10 per cent on either. I have considered deducting one fifth of the bill and leaving 10 per cent of the remainder (after explaining to the manager what I was doing) but have not had the confidence to do so, as it might look as though my purpose was to give the staff as little as I thought I could get away with. Could I reasonably expect my point of view to be understood?
C.H.C., Bath
A. Your point of view is reasonable, but it would be depressing to have to conflate in your mind the treat experience of the restaurant with the unpleasantness of quibbling. These charges must be mentally waived. After all, waiters and waitresses also have to pay them when they eat in restaurants.
Q. Going back to your article of 7 October, I would like to say something about the phenomenon of cutting acquaintances at parties. Being an Irishman, I know that there is a gesture I’ll call the ‘Irish nod’. It’s a very quick catching of someone’s eye and then a quick lowering and raising of the head accompanied by a wink. This translated means, ‘Yes, I know you are there, but I am tied up now … I’ll come back to you/call you asap.’ No one would be offended by this gesture, which we all know and use in Ireland.
P.H.D.,
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