Q. An old friend has been complaining to mutual other friends that I have dropped her because I have become ‘so grand’. The truth is that we are members of the same profession and currently I have to work incredibly long hours and travel a lot while she does not. But, to reassure her, I invited her to dinner on the first night I have free, which happens to be in early December. We arranged to meet at eight. Now, as luck would have it, I have been asked to something vital on the same night which I would not be able to leave till 9.15 at the earliest. Although my old friend lives virtually next door to where this event is happening, I can’t invite her along because I would not be able to give her any attention at it; she would not know anyone, and she would feel even more chippy and think I had only brought her along so as to show off how ‘grand’ I am. Mary, how can I show this oversensitive friend that she is still important to me without missing out on an event which I must attend for the sake of my career?
— Name withheld, London NW3
A. It is not too late for you to ring now to secure a 10 p.m. table for two on the night in question. Choose a restaurant such as the Ivy or the Wolseley where the fun and people-watching potential goes on into the night. Make your friend feel she is in the driving seat by asking her which of these restaurants she prefers. Text her the day before to announce that you could not get a table until ten o’clock! But you have booked it and can’t wait to see her there! It will be too late to argue.
Comments
Join the debate for just £1 a month
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for £3.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just £1 a monthAlready a subscriber? Log in