Q. Over the past three years a small birthday lunch party has been given for me by the mother of my daughter’s best friend at school. She invites a handful of other school mothers, and as we leave for the school run she says, ‘Same time, same place, next year!’ It is so sweet of her. I do take her out to lunch but cannot return the birthday-party favour, as her birthday falls outside term time. My problem is that I fear the tradition has run its course. I do not like having to commit myself a year in advance, and neither, I sense, do the other mothers. Our hostess could not be kinder, but she has more time on her hands than we do. How can I, without hurting her feelings, gently suggest that the next birthday lunch — which is about to happen — should be the last?
A.
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