Once again Mary has invited some of her most distinguished readers to submit Christmas queries.
From: Sir Norman Rosenthal
Q. I have an old friend who for some years has run an art gallery near Bond Street. I must have said something bad about him to somebody. It clearly got back to him and after a very unpleasant letter he has crossed me off his invitation and party list. This makes me very sad, as I now never get to see his artists who are all friends of mine. I am also very close to the gallery owner’s mother-in-law. She is well into her nineties, but very active, and we often go to concerts together. My wife does not object. After the concert I take her home in a taxi. She holds my hand and once said to me, ‘Norman, you and I, we are an item!’ She says, however, that she can do nothing about her son-in-law. Is there anything I can do to restore peace, especially during this season of goodwill?
A. Enlist the help of a happening artist whom this galleriste might wish to attract to his stable. Use him/her as a Trojan horse to smooth your arrival in the gallery on a weekday just before luncheon. Enter together, you proffering a bottle of good champagne as you walk forward to confront your old friend in magnanimous mode. Say ‘I’ve decided to forgive you. Will you forgive me?’ Before he can answer, move emotionally forward into hugging position while he stares over your shoulder and into the face of the artist he may wish to attract.
From Rachel Johnson
Q. As the so-called festive season is upon us, how can we prevent our husbands from using the word ‘we’ instead of ‘you’, as in ‘Have we done the children’s stockings?’/ ‘Have we ordered the Fortnum’s crackers?’ The implication is ‘it is your job but we will both take credit for having done it’.
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