Dear Mary | 18 April 2013

Q. I live in Bombay and seem to attract a large number of house guests, notably friends’ daughters on their gap year. I am lucky in having an excellent maid and driver who go out of their way to take them around town, feed them up and do what they call ‘madam duty’, which is to wash their filthy clothes. Gap-year budgets are meant to be low but one would have thought that someone receiving free accommodation and food for a week could afford a small tip for staff. Unfortunately, at least half of our young visitors fail to understand this. I mentioned it to one of the mothers, who rang to thank me — she immediately understood and made amends, and said that because they were all so recently children they have not yet had the experience of tipping staff, so it just does not occur to them. I don’t want to put off future guests because having them is mostly an enjoyable experience, reconnecting one with old friends, but I would like them to give staff a little recognition. What is your guidance?
—R.S., Bombay

A. I understand that 300 rupees per night (£3.50) per servant is the going rate. To avoid patronising those guests who do know the form, make this general announcement when people arrive: ‘I should explain the custom of this house. When you are leaving, don’t leave your tips just lying around. Come to me for two special envelopes, one for the driver and one for the maid, and you put your tips in there and then hand the envelopes to them directly. But don’t worry — it’s only 300 rupees per night per servant and if anyone needs to change large notes, I can help you on the day.’