Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 17 September 2011

Your problems solved

issue 17 September 2011

Q. I gave a drinks party at which I introduced two men who should have got on well. Instead one, who had had a bit too much to drink, became verbally aggressive, using a disagreement over architecture as the pretext for attacking the other. Despite my knowing the aggressor so well, and despite the passivity of his target, I was powerless to calm things down and it almost ended in (one-sided) fisticuffs. How could I have defused the tension?
—M.W., London SW3

A. To distract an aggressor at a party, raise your hand in a general stop sign, tap your glass and call for general silence.  Announce that  a large quantity of cash has been found on the floor. Would everyone please check to see whether it is they who have dropped it. He or she who identifies the correct amount you have found will be able to claim it back from you.

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