Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 17 August 2017

Also in Dear Mary: how to banish phones from the dinner table and how to rouse a stay-in-bed son

issue 19 August 2017

Q. Mary, I am what you would probably call a Sloane Ranger. I have great numbers of close friends and I’ve always attended confirmations, weddings, christenings and funerals without even thinking about whether it was convenient. But at my age a lot of friends’ parents are going downhill fast, and I now work. Many funerals will be out of London and require a whole day off to attend. I just can’t do it every week but neither can I let down my close friends.
— S.C., London SW11

A. You won’t be the only person who is needed at work and can’t be in two places at once. But you can be the only person who gives a dinner in London to cheer up the bereaved in compensation for your absence. Put a date in your diary for this at the same time as you break the news that you can’t make the funeral.

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