Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 16 April 2015

Plus: What to do when waiters call you ‘you guys’, and how to keep fellow students out of your beautiful room

issue 18 April 2015

Q. I have moved from London to the centre of a historic market town, now becoming famous as a foodie destination. For some reason people who would never have dreamt of dropping in without ringing when I lived in Kensington now think it almost de rigueur to knock on my door without warning when they are staying locally for the weekend. I like many of these people — but such unplanned visits are disruptive. Can you suggest a way I might retrain people to give me notice without seeming middle-aged and crusty?
— Name and address withheld

A. Make it a policy to always put on a coat and hat or sunglasses before answering the front door and to be holding your keys. In this way you can show your enthusiasm for the friends by gasping with dismay that you are just going out. If only they had given you notice! Now, sadly, you have an appointment.

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