Q. At a recent party I was delighted to find my hosts had put me next to one of their most high-profile guests. We had never met before but they knew how much I had to say to this excellent woman. I was consequently dismayed when she failed to — or rather, was unable to — turn. Her first interlocutor, a somewhat physically overbearing character, talked to her with almost pathological intensity throughout all the courses. The dinner came to an end and she and I had been unable to exchange one word. We had been 20 tables of ten. Had one of our hosts been at our table he or she would have slapped the offender down, but neither could see what was going on. Fortunately the old friend on my right was able to include me in a three-way conversation but that was not the point. How, without being uncivil like my rival, could I have prised this fascinating woman away from him?
— H.T., London SW1
A. The high-profile woman is partly to blame. She could have suddenly cried: ‘How absolutely fascinating! You must tell my neighbour!’ and pushed her chair back to allow a brief interchange and break the conversational stranglehold. Since she failed to do this, you had no option but to place your hand on her thigh — perhaps using a napkin as a buffer. When she whirled around you could have said pleasantly: ‘Sorry. This was the only way I could think of getting your attention.’
Q. My friend, a respectable married woman, started talking about the girlfriend of an ex-boyfriend of mine who is basically a shit and a womaniser. She clearly had no idea I even knew this man. Naturally, I was curious about the somewhat private information she was passing on so I said nothing about my seven-year affair with him.
Magazine articles are subscriber-only. Get your first 3 months for just $5.
SUBSCRIBE TODAY- Free delivery of the magazine
- Unlimited website and app access
- Subscriber-only newsletters
Comments
Join the debate for just £1 a month
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for £3.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just £1 a monthAlready a subscriber? Log in