Q. Our son goes to a state primary school in west London which in most respects we are very happy with. However, the teachers correct him every time he says ‘what?’ and insist he says ‘pardon?’ instead. The upshot is that he now says ‘pardon?’ even at home. Is there anything we can do? We’re a bit reluctant to complain to the school lest we come across as thundering snobs, but if he acquires this habit now it may be difficult to shake when he gets older. — Name and address withheld
A. Your dismay is understandable, but you are confusing etiquette with manners. The correct etiquette may be to say ‘what?’ but given the context, it is better manners for your son to use ‘pardon?’ Clarity is paramount in this multicultural — in both senses of the word — age. Hence the Duke of Wellington has a giant sign in his London home, Apsley House, bearing the legend TOILETS.
Equally, your son should aspire to be well-mannered enough to allow the maximum number of people to understand him. It is likely that he will share your sensibilities and so, in the fullness of time, he may well revert to ‘what?’ of his own volition. Meanwhile you should brace yourselves for his teenagehood and the estuary accent he may pick up from friends at posh schools like Eton.
Q. I’m due to attend a house party, but my problem is that as I’m single, I always get given a room with a shower, while the couples have rooms with bathrooms. At 70, I loathe showers. Do you think I could ask one of the couples, behind my hosts’ back, if I can secretly use their bathroom while everyone else is at breakfast?
— R.G., Wiltshire
A. Yes — but it will do no harm to stress that it is only the bath that you wish to use. Also be careful to confide your request only to the woman of the couple. A man will invariably blab it out at breakfast and risk discomfiting the host.
Q. On my parents’ wedding anniversary, they are coming up to London to celebrate and to see me in my new flat and meet the five other students I am living with. I want to cook a dinner for them on the Saturday night, but if everyone else stays in there will literally not be room at the table. How can I manipulate things so that two flatmates just have drinks and then go out? I can’t afford to take my parents out to a smart restaurant. — M.G., London WC2
A. The solution is to have the parents to your flat for drinks and to meet all your flatmates. Then take them to the smart but affordable London restaurant Brasserie Zedel (20 Sherwood Street, W1), just by Piccadilly Circus, where you can eat a set menu of two courses in a splendid golden art-deco setting for a prix fixe of only £8.75 a head.
Comments