Q. Please can you advise me? I am a bachelor living on my own and I have my shirts ironed by a very nice lady in the village. She does a great job, but I am getting increasingly annoyed as she leaves my shirts hanging in the kitchen and then proceeds to cook a roast dinner (or similar) before I can pick them up. She is incredibly friendly but very thin-skinned. How can I subtly suggest that she stores them somewhere else so I don’t smell of roast lamb when I wear my clothes? I did think about providing clothes covers but fear this might not have the desired effect, as she might only cover them immediately before I pick them up. Thank you.
R.C., Chester.
A. Next time you enter this village house with your pile of shirts to be ironed, single out a new one from the pile saying it is a present from a friend and ‘apparently it has special care instructions — here they are’. Forage absentmindedly in your pocket, then hand over the instructions (which you have secretly knocked up yourself on your own computer and printed out in a plausible typeface). The instructions should warn that the ‘especially absorbent sea-island cotton will pick up kitchen or cooking smells and should be aired near an open window to lend the garment that meadow-fresh aroma which gives clothing an extra sensual dimension’. On your subsequent delivery of shirts, enthuse about how clever she had been to air the sea-island cotton shirt so well. Ask if, in future, she could possibly do the same for all the shirts.
Q. I am guardian to a Hong Kong boy who is at boarding school and comes here for exeats and half-term.
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