Dear Mary | 13 February 2010

Q. My husband’s cousin is clever, kind and good-looking and has his own (rather grimy) flat. He works from home, and lives alone. Despite wanting to, he has never married. He and I are good friends and often have lunch. From time to time I have noticed a faint whiff from him but recently it has become quite disgusting. My husband refuses to say anything and a mutual friend tells me it is therefore my duty to tell him because it must be putting women off. What do you suggest?

Name and address withheld

A. Find a pretext to drop into his flat. Reel with revulsion as you come through the door screaming pleasantly, ‘What’s that smell?’ Boost his confidence by saying, ‘You and your flat have always smelt divine until this moment.’ Go round pretending to look for the source. Suggest a neighbour may have been cooking cabbage — or perhaps there is a dead rat under the floorboards but, whatever it is, all the clothes in his wardrobe have also been impregnated by the smell and so has he.