From Michael Fabricant MP
Q. When I go for intimate meals at a restaurant with a friend, I am invariably asked by other diners for a selfie or have embarrassing questions about my hairstyle directed at me. How can I turn these down — particularly the latter — while not seeming churlish?
A. Confuse the applicants by saying you’ve promised yourself you’ll stop talking about your hair. And you’re asking everyone who wants a selfie for a £10 donation to the party. As the coffers fill, you can conflate the stress of these impertinences with a good cause. Soon your frown will turn upside down.
From Anthony Horowitz
Q. All year round, and particularly at Christmas, I am asked to provide quotations to go on the covers of other people’s books. Being something of a soft touch, I usually agree, with the result that my name is now on many more books than I have actually written.
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