How do you persuade your pleasant dinner guests to go home when they will stay into the early hours if not evicted? I once fell asleep and awoke at 3 a.m. to find our two friends still here! They had seen me nod off in my chair, but hadn’t thought to leave of their own free will.
— C.P., Lawford, Essex
Slip out of the room and dial on your landline *55*0303#. Then return. Three minutes later a BT robot will call. Cry: ‘Who on earth could that be ringing in the middle of the night? Oh my goodness it must be an emergency for them to be ringing in the middle of the night. Oh no!’ Rush out to pick up the phone and a robotic voice will say: ‘This is your reminder call.’ Return to the room saying: ‘Thank goodness! It was only some kind of prerecorded marketing call. I thought, “Who on earth could it be ringing in the middle of the night?” I had no idea how late it was.
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