Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 11 January 2018

Also: As a lady, do I get to sit on the restaurant banquette?

issue 13 January 2018

Q. Should the lady or the gentleman have the banquette in a restaurant? I’ve been brought up to believe that the lady has the banquette for her more delicate bottom — and for her handbag. She has the view of the room; the gentleman has only eyes for her. My fiancé says that a modern couple should take it in turns to have the hard chair. Whose bottom takes precedence?
— L.F., Bayswater, London

A. As with so many cultural traditions, the lady takes the banquette for practical reasons. Not only does it allow access to her handbag and protect her more delicate clothing from spillages, but the lady usually has more data in her gossip repertoire than does the man. She tends to be more beady-eyed when it comes to social observation and more able to recognise prominent fellow diners. The man will miss out by denying her the better viewpoint since it allows her to entertain him.

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