Q. Is it acceptable to deal with time-critical online business while attending church? Some matters just won’t wait — Glastonbury tickets when they went on sale last Sunday, for example, or online airline check-in. Maybe you could suggest the types of church service when use of a smartphone could be permitted. Weddings (unless you are getting married?) and christenings (unless you are a godparent and ‘font side’ at the time)? Funerals would, I imagine, be a no-no.
— T.L., Wantage, Oxon
A. Thank you for a query less facetious than it seems. Before phones doubled as cameras, it was quite obvious they should be turned off in church at all times, without exceptions. Now that they do double as cameras, the boundaries have been blurred.
What if the vicar has given permission and you are filming a bride coming back down the aisle when the smartphone rings? Obviously you can’t answer it. It should not have rung in the first place, because the camera works with all sounds switched off.
And what if you must book tickets to Glastonbury at the same time as the service? Don’t go to church then.
Church is one of the last places to offer freedom from phone tyranny. This is a significant comfort in its own right, sufficient to drive even atheists inside — though not the mostly young victims of Fomo (Fear of Missing Out) who cannot last for more than a few minutes without checking their smartphones.
To bridge this divide and halt attendance decline, an answer suggests itself. Fast services, two in succession, each lasting 30 minutes. Those without Fomo, who are enjoying the peace and perspective, can stay on for the second sitting.
Q. I have just started university and realise that some members of my generation are unaware that when you are introduced to someone new, you are not supposed to kiss them.
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