Q. Before going into hospital for an eye operation, a good friend asked me if she could do anything to help when I came out. I thought this was a very kind gesture but I am now back at home and have not heard a word from her. Should I ignore this as pure forgetfulness or mention how surprised I am by her failure to enquire about my ordeal?
A.L., London
A. Do neither. Instead make the generous assumption that your friend is following the etiquette of not discussing illness. Guilt-mongering usually backfires so simply ask her for the help you need without ‘giving an organ recital’. This was the term used by the late Duke of Devonshire for the practice of describing operations.
Q. On the grounds that postage is bound to go up after the election, my husband wants to send out Christmas cards now.
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