Dear Mary | 1 September 2016

Q. We have a heavenly house in Corfu where we go as often as possible. The best thing about it is the intelligent Corfiot couple who look after it for us. Everything is spotless, the cooking is perfect, and their competence make us the envy of all our local expat friends. Now someone has told me that when we are back in England, our couple host wild parties and sleep in the master bedroom. There has been no damage, but instinct tells me that what she says is true. I don’t want to humiliate the couple with a showdown because I don’t want to lose them. But how else can I stop the parties?
—Name and address withheld

A. The parties would stop if you told the couple your insurance company has asked you to install live streaming security cameras linked to your laptops in England. But bear in mind this could backfire. Maybe the reason the couple have the stamina to be so respectful and efficient during your brief visits to the property is because of the glorious perks their job offers, namely that it effectively gives them a second home without having to pay for upkeep. Should that perk be removed, they may resign and in time-honoured fashion, take employment from the same local friend who grassed on them to you in the first place, who may be prepared to turn a blind eye to the party-giving. Try saying to the couple, while praising them for looking after you so well, ‘Can we do anything for you? Would you like to invite some friends here for a party once in a while when we are away? Always letting us know and, of course, not using our bedroom?’