Q. I suffer from a form of visual Spoonerism (in New College chapel Warden Spooner concluded, ‘in the sermon which I have just been preaching, wherever I have said Aristotle I have meant St Paul’). I often recognise a person as somebody completely different. The other day I went to a private view at a Bond Street gallery and confidently greeted our host as Gerry. I thought he seemed a little cool. As we left I said a cheerful ‘Goodbye, Gerry’. Actually it turns out that his name is Christopher, and I know perfectly well the difference between Christopher and Gerry. What am I to do to remedy this unfortunate gaffe?
R.O., Kent
A. Since there is very little you can do about this propensity you must use it to spark self- importance in your victims. Syndromes are all the rage these days and this is the first time that old-fashioned absent-mindedness has been billed as ‘visual Spoonerism’.
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