For the first time I can remember I haven’t bothered a fig about England’s Test matches. I haven’t even cocked an ear towards the radio. Keith Miller said you shouldn’t take candy from kids, and Bangladesh’s so obvious wretchedness about being outclassed depressed everyone’s spirits.
Or is it an ageing codger’s grumpiness? Bangladesh can only improve by playing the best. I did not remotely feel so cheerless about one-sided contests 23 years ago when I was enchanted to be in Colombo to see Sri Lanka’s very first Test and, although England won easily, it was heartwarming to welcome a new side into the fold. And it took Sri Lanka just over a dozen years, didn’t it, resoundingly to wallop Australia in the 1996 World Cup final?
Come to think of it (and the reason I did was that their hero and first true-great bowler died last week at 78), I was also there when Pakistan won their first Test against England after being scornfully written off as duds. It remains a thrill to remember the famous day at the Oval in 1954. It was my last summer hols from school and I stayed with an aunt in Pimlico. Like Bangladesh’s spring of 2005, it was a cold wet summer for hard-wicket fledglings. Two of the four Tests, at Lord’s and Manchester, had been washed away, but not before Pakistan had been pitilessly skittled for under 100 in both their innings; and at Nottingham Denis Compton had gaily slaughtered them for 278 and an innings humiliation. At the Oval the bedraggled tourists were at once bowled out for 133, but then the weather worked in their favour for once and a wet wicket perfectly fitted the cut, swing and genuine arts of Fazal Mahmood.

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