In Competition 2805 you were invited to submit toe-curlingly bad analogies.
Congratulations! You obliged with a stream of analogies glorious in their overwrought, tasteless, laboured awfulness.
The first five competitors printed below get £15 each. Basil Ransome-Davies and Adrian Fry take £10 and the remaining half-dozen pocket a fiver each.
Her kisses were like wine: not plonk, either (though equally not the kind of austere vintage that stands aloof from all but connoisseurs) — more like a respectable yet reasonably priced Cabernet-Shiraz blend that would definitely have you coming back for another glug.
Her anger abated, but he feared she might resemble her washing machine, which, once the churning of the wash was over, lulled you with a brief silence before unleashing the wild fury of the spin cycle.
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