Melissa Kite Melissa Kite

Confessions of an insurance junkie

It’s hooey but I was a sucker for the promise of safety and security —until I added up the premiums

issue 21 February 2015

Never add up your insurance premiums. I just did and the annual cost of all of them came to more than the cost of most man-made or natural disasters. That means there really isn’t any point to any of them, statistically speaking.

The problem is I’m an insurance junkie. I’m a born cynic, a pessimist, a worrier. Someone only has to ask if I have ever thought what would happen if… (insert improbable but horrendous mishap: the dog ingesting a rare kind of lungworm, Russian separatists misfiring a rocket at eastern Ukraine that lands on my roof) …and I’m ready to sign on the dotted line of any kind of lunacy. I’m a sucker for the promise of safety, security ‘and the peace of mind of knowing that in an emergency you and your loved ones…’

Of course, it’s hooey. The small print clearly states: ‘In the event of you and your loved ones actually needing any of the help outlined in this policy, Royal Sod You Alliance reserves the right to deny all liability because you’ve got the wrong kind of window locks.

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