Confessions of a dog hater

Rishi Sunak’s plan to ban American Bully XLs is welcome news for us dog haters. It’s long been said that pooches are man’s best friend. But this is a problem if, like me, you love men, but are less than enamoured with his mate. If what the Spice Girls said about needing to get along with the friends of your paramour is true, then us cynophobes face solitude amidst the wilderness of dog-loving Englishmen on the dating scene. 

Over the years, I have mastered the art of gracefully skipping over the topic of dogs. But the prevalence of these animals is such that, sooner or later, the topic must be faced. Admitting you can’t stand man’s best friend is seen by many as a red flag, something you are forced to justify. But pretending you like them is also problematic: if you are not up front early on, you face the prospect of inadvertently becoming stepmother to a slobbering four-legged creature called ‘Baxter’ who shares the bed and even has its own toothbrush by the sink.