Condensing Jane

In Competition No. 2524 you were invited to condense a Jane Austen novel into a limerick. You rose admirably to the challenge, and, as befits a competition based on the Austen oeuvre, your entries displayed sparkling wit, pithy observation and, in the main, metrical accuracy. (Although some of you are clearly not members of the J.A. appreciation society.)

There was an absence of the ribaldry and innuendo traditionally associated with the limerick form, but the smutty possibilities of ‘Knightley’ proved irresistible to some. Gerard Benson’s final line, ‘And Emma gets her Mister, nightly’, was typical.
There were entertaining contributions from Penelope Mackie, V. Perrin and Gordon Macintyre, while one of Gerda Mayer’s entries has already appeared in print twice. She writes, with commendable honesty, ‘I do so hope this doesn’t disqualify it. I like being published.’ Here it is:

‘Don’t misally yourself, Bingley,’
Proud Darcy said, ‘Rather live singly.’
But the lady thus spurned
Had a sister who turned
Darcy’s head. Darcy wed. So did Bingley.
The winners, printed below, get a tenner each. Merry Christmas to you all.

Mrs Bennet thinks every daughter
Needs moolah and man to support her.
Darcy, though arsey,
Is secretly classy.
Liz thwarts him. A twist. And he’s caught her.
Bill Leith