In Competition No. 2729 you were invited to recast a well-known nursery rhyme, filtering it through the lens of a recent news story. Josh Ekroy was on fine form: ‘Liam had a little friend/ his suit was white as snow/ and everywhere that Liam went/ his friend was sure to go.’ In a strong entry, honourable mentions also go to Mae Scanlan, Katie Mallett and Noel Petty. The winners get £20 each. The extra fiver is Mike Morrison’s.
Mary, Mary, ordinary
In décolletage,
Thought, ‘Such tedium being medium,
Why not plump for large?’
M, no cynic, called a clinic;
Fired by vanity
She told them straight, ‘I just can’t wait
To be a double-D’
And, for a time, she felt sublime
With her new acquisitions
But one day, piqued, she shrieked, ‘They’ve leaked!’
Imagine her contrition.
Advised by BAAPS (it’s not for chaps)
‘Get rid of them, you must.
Comments
Join the debate for just $5 for 3 months
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for $5.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just $5 for 3 monthsAlready a subscriber? Log in