In Competition No. 2744 you were invited to provide a poetic preview of the Olympic Games. The impending onslaught was viewed with a mix of dread and indifference. When pessimism and cynicism descend on the entry there are always a smattering of Pollyannas but on this occasion they were fewer than usual. Alan Millard’s evocation of wall-to-wall British triumph under cloudless skies was nicely punctured in his closing couplet: ‘A small print warning: Previews may at times prove inexact./ What’s here is pure conjecture and should not be seen as fact.’ Others who narrowly missed out on a place on the podium were Frank Osen, Adrian Fry and D.A. Prince.
The winners are rewarded with £25 each. Basil Ransome-Davies takes £30.
The thrills! The spills! A nation finds
A salutary tonic
To lift its weary hearts and minds
From Dow and Panasonic.
And end to mooting pros and cons.
Time’s up for mere debaters.
Let Britain for each prideful bronze
Hail EDF and Atos.
Olympic medals far outrank
The laurels of a Caesar,
A boon for which we humbly thank
Deloitte, GE and Visa.
An end, I say, to shame and blame,
An end to grief and dolour.
Let’s raise to the Olympic flame
A glass of Coca-Cola.
Basil Ransome-Davies
Diving, kicking, hitting, shooting,
Running, scoring, bouncing, flooring,
Riding, cycling, sprinting, booting,
Does this sound a little boring?
Punching, leaping, hurling, lifting,
Jumping, fencing, sculling, paddling,
Walking, trotting, hurling, shifting,
I am thinking of skedaddling.
Wheeling, aiming, netting, chucking,
Stroking, swimming, thrusting, riding,
Tacking, acing, rowing, pucking,
All will drive me into hiding.
Anthems, garlands? I’ve an errand.
Well done, winner, hard luck, loser.
Won a medal for your gerund?
I’m off to the local boozer.
Bill Greenwell
This one-off junket costs eleven billion,
Four times the starting budget, but who’s counting?
We’ll love the show that Danny Boyle is mounting—
George Osborne’s face, though, may go deep vermilion.
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