Lucy Vickery

Competition: Food glorious food

issue 01 February 2020

In Competition No. 3133 you were invited to provide a passage about food written in the style of a well-known author.

Douglas G. Brown’s ‘Observation on a Vegetable That Was Probably Unknown to Ogden Nash’ struck a chord: ‘Kale consumed raw/ Gets stuck in one’s craw;/ But kale, marinated,/ Is still overrated’. Nick Syrett and Martyn Hurst also stood out, as did Nick MacKinnon’s Shelley on molecular gastronomy — ‘My name is Heston Blumenthal, chef of chefs./ Look on my pud, ye hungry, and despair!’ — and Katie Mallett’s updating of Betjeman’s ‘Vers de Sociéte’. They were only narrowly outflanked by the winners, printed below, who each snaffle £25.

‘A peach just beautifully is!’ she cried, with startling vehemence. ‘Ah, that.’ Maunder’s spoon hovered over his île flottante. He was now sharply aware that far too much of his conversation had concerned the series of dishes that had been set before them.

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