In Competition No. 2725 you were invited to supply the sales particulars for planet Earth.
‘Need a home where you can really spread yourself?’ asks George Simmers. ‘It’s the ideal residence for the adventurous virus with an urge to propagate. There’s a comfily warm and humid climate in most parts of the planet (And it’s getting warmer! Fantastic!) Potential hosts abound.’ What’s not to like?
Equally persuasive and slippery of tongue were John Plowman, Tracy Davidson, Frank Upton and Adrian Fry. But those who most successfully accessed their inner estate agent are printed below and get £30 each. This week’s top dog is Brian Murdoch, who pockets the bonus fiver.
Situated in the highly sought-after Goldilocks zone of the Solar System, Earth is an inner-system detached bijou planet, highly suitable for the first-time-evolved buyer. Outbuildings include a charming and well-kept moon, for which planning permission has been applied for to convert to an ancestor flat; some manufactured orbiting objects are also included in the price. Earth benefits from an integral ®Volcano heating system, an especially ample water supply, and is constructed on several levels, making it absolutely ideal for any homeothermic bi- or multipedal species impervious to alpha, beta and gamma radiation. The property also boasts some delightful retro features, such as a number of resident and largely malevolent deities. The fixed price takes into account the fact that the ozone roof requires some attention. The property is handy for most of the galaxy, and affords stunning views of Orion and Cassiopeia to the rear.
Brian Murdoch
Desirable mature planet with wealth of period features, in ideal tranquil situation between Mars and Venus, and convenient to both, benefitting from extensive galaxy views and established orbit. The Planet comprises landscaped water features and large variety of elevated land forms, currently maintained by sitting tenants.
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